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Main & Mama

Main & Mama

Welcome to Main & Mama. This is a safe space that I created as a home for my broken heart in the aftermath of losing my sweet daughter, Eleanora James, two weeks before her due date in June 2021. This home resides at the intersection of my role as Mrs. Main and my role as Mama to the girl I'll never get to raise. Behind the front door is a mountain of grief that I'm trying to unpack and sort through by writing it all down—here. I hope you'll come with me and maybe even stay awhile.

Dear Little One

It’s been nearly a month since I’ve written anything. This morning, I woke up thinking about our next…

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On January 22, 2022
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Hello, 2022

I’ve made it. December 31—the final day of the worst year of my life. I wasn’t sure I…

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On December 31, 2021
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Surviving, Not Living

Since losing my daughter, I have said that navigating grief is like riding a rollercoaster with a blindfold…

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On December 22, 2021
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Mama, Papa, Eleanora, E

I haven’t known what to say for nearly three weeks. I keep telling myself, “Your brain feels clogged.…

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On November 29, 2021
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“You Are In Love”

Happy five month birthday, Eleanora James. Nine months of making you, five months now of missing you. You’ve…

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On November 10, 2021
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There Are No Words

I don’t feel good this evening. I feel like my grief is written all over my face. At…

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On November 2, 2021
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Goodbye, October

I haven’t felt up to writing much this month, but today it feels good, so: hello again. I’m…

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On October 28, 2021
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Forever Flowers

The day after we found out that Eleanora had died, she visited me in a dream. She likes…

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On October 11, 2021
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The Day We Found Out About You

One year ago today, we found out we were expecting our precious Eleanora.  I had my suspicions that…

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On October 5, 2021
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Petoskey

I turned twenty-seven last Thursday. It feels absurd to me that I’m twenty-seven years old—old enough to have…

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On September 27, 2021
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About Me

About Me

Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm a wife, a mama, a writer, and a lover of Christmas, hot coffee, and cozy blankets. I'm learning every day how to navigate grief by writing it all down.

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